The Typical Ultrasound Experience for Toronto Dads

Boy was I excited today when I was on my way to the ultrasound clinic with my wife to catch a glimpse of my future 2nd child. Even more exciting was the fact that we were going to learn the sex of our child. Whether you find out the sex in the ultrasound room or in the hospital (like we did with our first child), this has to be one of life’s greatest highlights.

Here’s how it went:

“Mrs. ModernHouseDad, I am ready for you,” called the lab technician. The two of us got up and happily moved forward.

“Not you, Sir. I’ll come get you later.”

“Oh… Um… Okay…” I replied.

What? Not me? Does this stranger seriously get to look at my child while I, the father, have to sit in the waiting room wondering about what’s going on and about whether or not this stranger will let the sex of our child slip in my absence.

Immediately I texted my wife, “Don’t find out the sex until I am in the room!” [send]

“!” [send]

“!” [send]

So I sat in the the waiting room like a tool and steamed about the state of ultrasounds in this city as I smashed my way through several annoying little pigs on an Angry Bird’s Christmas level. Different clinics have different rules. Some do not even permit the dad to enter the room. Something feels seriously out of whack here (like the golden eggs that I can no longer seem to locate on these new Angry Birds levels).

“You can come in now.”

I jumped up and in I went, much less excited now. I was in the ultrasound room for no more that 5 minutes and the clinician uttered no more than 8 words.

“Spine there. Pretzel. Can’t see. Another ultrasound.”

My wife and I looked blankly at each. Her eyes twinkled with WTF and mine with FTP (F Those Pigs… in reference to those nasty little Angry Birds pigs as I tried to direct my displeasure elsewhere).

After we left the clinic my wife told me that our technician said she wasn’t aloud to tell the sex to parents anymore even if she could see “the parts” on the ultrasound. This too varies clinic to clinic. Regardless, this particular clinician (who was informed by my wife not to tell her the sex until I was in the room) kept showing her pictures of where the parts should be to see if my wife (in my absence) could identify the sex.

What a wonderful experience had by all. See you again in a few weeks for the next one!

#OntarioNeedsRegulatedClinicsThatEmpoyFriendlyWalmartGreetersAsTechnicians #RollbackBabiesAndHappyParents

Oh… and here’s the best picture of our child. Is that Slimer?