India Beer Changes Slogan

In surprising news, India Beer, one of Newfoundland’s most successful beers, is changing their slogan from “Man’s Best Friend” to “It’s Not Good, But I Drink It Anyway.”

This news comes following a “mainland invasion” of the 2013 George Street Festival. Joe Smitherman, Director of Marketing at India Beer, explains:

We’ve long been ‘man’s best friend’ here on the island. Any day of the week, you look around and you’ll see islanders sippin’ India Beer wherever they are – the golf course, the mall, in hospitals. India Beer is more loyal than most dogs even.   

We recently decided, however, that we’d like to break through to the mainland market. We thought the George Street Festival would be a great time to poll mainlanders about our beer.

Some of the feedback India Beer received included:

“It’s a great beer except for the taste.”

“I downed it hard after I was screeched in. The taste of cod on my lips neutralized the flavour.”

“It’s cheaper than milk. I pour it on my cereal.”

Even Newfoundlanders had some words of wisdom for mainlanders:

“Just get it India!”

“Take a nip ‘o da cod’s ass before pourin’ da full bottle down yer gullet.”

 “Better India, den outta-ya, I says!”

Joe Smitherman further explains the new slogan:

We found that despite some of the criticism about the taste of our beer, in the end our beer was still standing tall in the hands of each and every one of those mainlanders even if they were flat on their backs.

To us this jibes well with our original slogan, “Man’s Best Friend,” but we thought we needed to be more explicit about the taste of the beer for mainlanders. Anyone can make a good beer, but not many can make a beer that tastes terrible and despite this fact you cannot put it down. We decided to embrace this truth and to go with our snappy new in-your-face slogan, “It’s Not Good, But I Drink It Anyway.”   

Other companies, such as Buckley’s Cough Syrup, have seen success marketing the unpleasant taste of their products in the past, but this is a first for a beer company. Most companies are known for advertising the purity, crispness, and robust flavours of their beer.

It would be an outright lie, explains Joe Smitherman, to describe our beer this way. It’s a gross beer. Plain and simple. It’s time more beer companies get honest with people. Molson Canadian? That sludge is as crisp as a 5 dollar bill in a bowl of poutine. Make that a slogan!

India Beer is owned by Molson and is not actually an india pale ale, despite the use of “India” in its name – it’s a lager.

Joe Smitherman has recently been fired by Molson for his remarks about their hallmark product, though they continue to back the slogan, “It’s Not Good, But I Drink It Anyway”. Sales have remained solid.

Disclaimer: Everything in this article is satirical (except for the taste of the beer of course).